July 2010
1 post
The Evil Dead
They’re going to get you. But you don’t know why and they don’t have the decency to explain so I guess you better just try and escape, but don’t run out madly into the woods like that… wait! Oh. Nuts. Zombie Speed: Fast? Slow? It’s hard to pay attention long enough to be sure. Zombie Catalyst: DON’T PLAY THE TAPE OF SOME GUY READING THAT BOOK BRUCE! ...
Jul 20th
March 2010
3 posts
28 Weeks Later (2007)
A good sequel, and a defining modern zombie movie. Zombie Speed: You run for your life, they run for your life Zombie Catalyst: The Rage virus Zombie Contagion: Blood Zombie IQ: Instinctual, with memories Protagonists: Father, daughter, son, soldier and medic Apocalypse Vibe: London without the tourists Some zombie films spend their entirety telling a story that 28 Weeks relates in its...
Mar 21st
28 Days Later (2002)
Danny Boyle and Alex Garland keep the zombie formula fresh in the new millenium. Zombie Speed: 100 meter zomblympic gold medal winners Zombie Catalyst: A virus Zombie Contagion: Blood Zombie IQ: Instinctual Protagonists: Hot guy, hot girl, know-it-all kid and her father Apocalypse Vibe: Fabulous right up to the midnight hour, but then, overlooked Music: FUCKING SLAYER Jim is you and...
Mar 21st
Return of the Living Dead (1985)
The film that pioneered the zombie need for “Braaaainnnssss!” Zombie Speed: Running, jumping, sumo-wrestling. Zombie Catalyst: A poisonous gas. Zombie Contagion: Exposure to said gas. Zombie IQ: Powerfully smart, apart from when it interferes with the plot Protagonists: Four blue-collars and a bunch of teenagers Apocalypse Vibe: Minimal and obscured by bad acting Invincible...
Mar 5th
February 2010
1 post
Zombi 2 (1979)
Need I say more than: Shark versus Zombie? Zombie Speed: Shambling Zombie Catalyst: Voodoo Zombie Contagion: Death Zombie IQ: Brainless Protagonists: A reporter and a daughter seeking her father Apocalypse Vibe: It’s the beginning of the end, but it’s a mediocre one Behaviour of female survivors: Holding dear to the ideals of pre-feminism, the lovely ladies stand there and...
Feb 23rd
January 2010
3 posts
Day of the Dead (1985)
The zombie apocalypse has come and conquered. Only small groups of survivors remain. What are they going to do? As it turns out, not much. Zombie Speed: Shambling Zombie Catalyst: Undisclosed Zombie Contagion: Bites, or death Zombie IQ: Can use a Sony Walkman if given the opportunity Protagonists: A bunch of lame scientists and a bunch of lame soldiers Apocalypse Vibe: Mostly...
Jan 10th
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
A black and white picture, a 4:3 aspect ratio, zombies with bits of cracker stuck to their faces. Can it really be any good? Yes, yes it can. Zombie Speed: Shambling Zombie Catalyst: Some lame “Radiation” crap Zombie Contagion: Bites, or death Zombie IQ: Can bludgeon Protagonists: A smart black guy, a courageous dumbarse, a loser and a bunch of useless women Apocalypse Vibe: Raw As the...
Jan 10th
1 note
Dawn of the Dead (1978)
Nobody else understands zombies quite like Romero did back in 1978. The original Dawn of the Dead is the zombie film. Zombie Speed: Shambling Zombie Catalyst: Undisclosed Zombie Contagion: Bites, or death Zombie IQ: Can bludgeon Protagonists: Traffic reporter, his pregnant girlfriend, his cop friend and another cop who tags along Apocalypse Vibe: Genre-defining At first all the characters...
Jan 10th
December 2009
1 post
Land of the Dead (2005)
Land of the Dead emphasises that in a world of zombies, you can’t let your guard down, everyone needs guns, and if you aren’t a tough guy — you’re dead. But we knew that already, didn’t we? Zombie Speed: Shambling Zombie Catalyst: Undisclosed Zombie Contagion: Bites, or death Zombie IQ: Learning abilities, tool-use Protagonists: A natural leader and a...
Dec 20th
November 2009
1 post
Zombieland (2009)
Zombieland is a light but satisfying mix of character development in a ruthless survival situation… but it mainly focuses on the lols. Zombie Speed: Jogging Zombie Catalyst: Undisclosed Zombie Contagion: Bites Zombie IQ: Brainless Protagonists: A geek, a tough guy and two sisters in crime. Apocalypse Vibe: Ambient and well presented. Zombies are certainly not the main...
Nov 24th